As any parent will tell you, raising a child comes with many rewards, but also with many challenges. Add the responsibilities that come from being a caregiver for a child with special needs, and the challenges are even greater, often leading to caregiver burnout. As parents, we usually put the needs of our children above our own needs, and the idea of self-care seems like just a dream. However, good self-care is a necessity. Long term stress leads to health risks-emotionally, mentally, and physically, and your role in your child’s life is irreplaceable.
Caregivers, with this heightened focus on their children, often lose sight of the need to monitor their own health. A study published in the Journal of Autism and Development found that caregivers for children with autism had hormone levels like those of combat soldiers. These hormone levels may affect glucose regulation, mental clarity, as well as immune function and may lead to enduring health problems if not treated. Research shows that caregivers of children with special needs are more likely to experience numerous issues, ranging from anxiety, insomnia, and fatigue to inappropriate use of drugs or alcohol, and marital problems. Just like the flight attendants instruct passengers as they prepare us for take off-you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child; the same goes with taking care of ourselves. If you are depleted emotiontally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, then there is little left over for others. Take care of yourself first or you will have nothing left to give others.
Fighting Caregiver Burnout
So, what can be done to ensure your health and to help avoid caregiver burnout? Fortunately, there are things you can do to ease caregiver stress. Let’s look at five tips that will help.
1. Develop a backup plan
Make a list of people you would feel comfortable asking for assistance. Some friends and family members may be equipped to stay with your child. Those who are not could be available to help with other chores. Or, you could hire a mother’s helper through one of the job sites, such as Indeed.com or care.com. You may be eligible for respite care services through your local community health organization. Children with extensive medical needs may be eligible for inhome provider services. To find providers your area visit abilitybridge.com. Make a list of resources, such as support groups and networks. Write down everyone who has offered to help, and the duties they are willing to handle. Planning helps take some of the stress out of your life.
2. Take care of your health
You may not feel you have the time to leave your loved one to get a physical or visit the doctor when you are ill, butmaintaining your health is critical to you both. Since you’ve developed your back-up plan, you now have a list of possible candidates to call on when you need to schedule a medical appointment. Eating right, getting enough sleep and exercise are also essential elements for maintaining your health. Consider taking up the practice of mindfulness. Vanderbilt University studied parents of children with special needs. The group given a six-week mindfulness training course realized a significant reduction in stress, depression and anxiety.
3. Set priorities
Put things into perspective by prioritizing the critical and noncritical task you face. As a caregiver, you often face serious decisions. The more you can prioritize, the simpler and less stressful your decision making becomes. Learn to say no. You can’t do everything and do it well. Concentrate on the tasks that are necessary to ensure the health and safety of you and your child, and don’t take on new responsibilities which pull your focus.
4. Build your tribe
It’s easy to slip into isolation when you are hyper-focused on your child. Cultivate relationships by staying connected with your friends and family. Build new relationships with others in your local support groups and network. You aren’t alone on your journey, so seek support from other caregivers who understand your challenges. Join our community forum and share your joys and struggles with other parents of special needs children.
5. Practice gratitude
When we look for the positive things in our day we can often find at least one small thing for which to be grateful. Some parents find that keeping a gratitude journal is helpful. At the end of each day, write down something good that happened. Maybe you got to take a short nap while a family member came over or you had an uninterrupted bath!
6. Laugh about it
Find ways to bring laughter into your daily routine. Listening to comedians and watching funny movies helps boost your mood. Plus, research has shown that laughter has some of the same benefits of exercise on our emotional health.
Do you have additional tips for beating caregiver stress? Please visit our Facebook page and tells us about them.
RESOURCES
A Consumer’s Guide for Family Caregivers – this site provides information on how to locate and pay for respite care, as well as a state-by-state respite directory.
Support Groups – Caring.com has a directory of online support groups, as well as other resources for caregivers.
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